Stoner Quotes For The Next Time You Indulge

These stoner quotes will have you feeling those good vibes.

Whether you’re smoking a bowl after a long day, enjoying a sesh with some friends, or browsing the dispensary for a nug, these quotes will have you remembering that it’s always 4:20 somewhere.

Tell us your favorite stoner quote in the comment section below.

What are the benefits of reading these stoner quotes?

If you’re passionate about cannabis, then sit back, relax, light up a blunt and enjoy our list of legendary stoner quotes.

From the perfect Instagram captions for when you need to show off your new pipe to celebrity and movie quotes about weed, we’ve got you covered with these sayings.

These stoner quotes will:

• Help you better understand cannabis and why people use it
• Offer you a new perspective
• Make you laugh
• Help you learn and understand some new lingo

Don’t also forget to check out these weed quotes to lift your stoner spirits.

Also, check out our most popular quote article, a list of short inspirational quotes for daily wisdom. 

See the rest of our quote database for even more inspirational ideas and thoughts.

The best weed and stoner quotes for your Instagram captions

1. “If I study high, take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores!” — How High

2. “Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?” – Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

3. “Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder.” — Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke

4. “A friend with weed is a friend indeed…”― Pops O’Donnell

5. “That is not a drug, it’s a leaf.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

6. “I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more.” – Sublime

7. “I don’t think [pot] is more dangerous than alcohol.” – Barack Obama

8. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” – John Lennon

9. “Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me my friend.” – Ben Harper

10. “Of course I know how to roll a joint.” – Martha Stewart

Stoner quotes from celebrities

11. “Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.” – Hugh Hefner

12. “I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.” – James Franco

13. “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley

14. “Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy.” – Kid Cudi

15. “I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high.” – Ricky Williams

16. “When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama

17. “I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could.” – Snoop Dogg

18. “I have used cannabis all over the world.” – Rick Steves

19. “If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s, and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you.” – Danny Danko

20. “I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.” – Bill Murray

Stoner quotes from movies

21. “Smoke the marijuana and get high. Stay above the wicked and fly.” – Snoop Dogg

22. “Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac

23. “Writing to me is like hitting the herb. No problems, Mon. No worries.”― A.K. Kuykendall

24. “It makes me feel the way I need to feel.” – Snoop Dogg

25. “It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.” – Bill Lee

26. “I never joined high school, I joined school high.” — Unknown

27. “A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away.” — Unknown

28. “You either love weed, or you’re wrong.” — Unknown

29. “When in doubt, smoke it out.” — Unknown

30. “It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.” — Unknown

Stoner quotes about smoking weed

31. “We talk to each other in code. We said that 420 was a special number. It was a time. It was a date. It was a symbol for what we did for passive resistance.” – Rick Cusick

32. “You know what I’m really tired of is people getting arrested for the possession of marijuana. It’s just a plant. It makes no sense.” – Madeline Martinez

33. “People say you can abuse marijuana. Well shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don‘t go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something.” – Joe Rogan

34. “If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it.” — John Lennon

35. “New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my email, and the next thing I know it’s three days later, I’m in the desert, I’m banging on a drum, I’m naked, and somebody’s pierced my dick.” — Bill Maher

36. “Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural?” — Bill Hicks

37. “It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics … dope and all that crap. It’s a thousand times better than whiskey – it’s an assistant – a friend.” – Louis Armstrong

Funny stoner quotes and captions that will make you happy

38. “Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating.” ― Richard Neville

39. “Marijuana saved my life. I have no doubts about it and you don’t need to show me any data.” – Greg Scott

40. “I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stoned or because I have no blood left in my body.” — Pineapple Express

41. “Smokin’ weed, smokin’ Wizz, / Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers, / Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers, / Rollin’ fattys, smokin’ blunts, / Who smokes the blunts? / We smoke the blunts. / Rollin’ blunts and smokin’.” — Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back

42. “Littering and smoking the reefer. Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you three smoke the whole bag” — Super Troopers

43. “I think people need to be educated about the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?” – Willie Nelson

44. “We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers…” – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

45. “Why do I do it? Because I enjoy its effects. You know, I — why does anybody use any mind-altering substance, you know, because they like the way it makes them feel.” – Mark Stepnoski

46. “I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits – and millions of Americans agree with me.” – Hunter S. Thompson

47. “Many artists and writers have used cannabis for creative stimulation – from the writers of the world’s religious masterpieces to our most irreverent satirists.” – Jack Herer

48. “‎Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see.” – Thomas Jefferson

49. “Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.” – Kurt Vonnegut

50. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for 44 years now, and … I think it’s a tremendous blessing.” – Lester Grinspoon

51. “I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.” – Friday

52. “The only serious side-effect of marijuana is that you might get arrested.” – Alan watts

53. “They’ve outlawed the No. 1 vegetable on the planet.” – Timothy Leary

54. “The greatest service that can be rendered to any country is to add a useful plant to its culture.” – Thomas Jefferson

55. “The weed is for the people. It’s the people’s weed.” – Jonah Hill

Stoner quotes from song lyrics

56. “I be getting stoned, imma stone cold stoner.” — Jitsu Gaiden, Big Smoker

57. “I’m in the section with the stoner kids. This is for us stoner kids.” — Ali, Fusk

58. “Let that weed take our minds away. We got that stoner luv.” — Ppbtay, Stoner Luv

59. “Imma lonely stoner. All my life, ah loner. I’m smoking on this Ganja” — Dope Cashh, Lonely Stoner

60. “Grandpa Stoner, Grandpa Stoner. Is what I wanna be when I am 63.” — Airportface, Grandpa Stoner

61. “Stoner, stoner, you are a goner. Stick your needle in your arm while they suffer.” — Behind the Bars, Stoner

62. “Baby I’m a stoner gotta smoke when I awake. Baby I’m a loner when I smoke it’s to the face.” — DohBoy, Stoner

63. “Rollin’ like a stoner, I don’t care about everything. Out of control, I forgot to take my medicine.” — Vic Mensa, Rollin’ Like a Stoner

64. “I get so high I’m addicted to heights. I left that bitch and I didn’t say bye. I’m a stoner. I always got them stoner eyes.” — STRIPEZVU, Stoner Eyes

65. “The Lonely Stoner knows how to roll cause The Lonely Stoner’s always packing bowls. The Lonely Stoner knows how to smoke but The Lonely Stoner knows he’s alone.” — Zack Stone, The Lonely Stoner

Relatable stoner quotes

66. “I’ve smoked Marijuana most of my adult life.” – Drew Barrymore

67. “Everything is better with a bag of weed.” — Stewie Griffin

68. “Marijuana is not a drug!!! I used to suck dick for coke! You ever suck DICK for marijuana?” — Bob Saget

69. “If you substitute marijuana for tobacco and alcohol, you’ll add eight to 24 years to your life.” – Jack Herer

59. “A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities.” ― Sebastian Marincolo

60. “People say you can abuse marijuana. You can abuse cheeseburgers. Does that mean we should close Burger Kings.” – Joe Rogan

70. “We shall, by and by, want a world of hemp more for our own consumption.” — John Adams

71. “I smoked pot in college, and in the Army.” — Al Gore

72. “I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.” — Andy Warhol

73. “I’d always done a lot of sniffing glue as a kid. I was very interested in glue, and then I went to lager and speed, and I drifted into heroin because as a kid growing up everybody told me, ‘don’t smoke marijuana, it will kill you.’” — Irvine Welsh

74. “Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.” — George Washington

75. “Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.” — Thomas Jefferson

Stoner quotes for Instagram

76. “When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley

77. “I will Never give up the Ganja – God’s own weed.” – Morgan Freeman

78. “People in grass houses shouldn’t get stoned.” ― Brian Spellman

79. “Marijuana may not be addictive, but growing it is.” – Ed Rosenthal

80. “Marijuana is fuel for a creative mind.”― A.K. Kuykendall

81. “Even if one doesn’t smoke pot one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it!” —Danny Devito

82. “Cannabis is just way too healthy for a sick health care system.”― Sebastian Marincolo

83. “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” — Bob Marley

Stoner Quotes That Calm Your Thoughts

84. “Sketchy: I’m no stranger to stoner logic.” ― Joss Whedon

85. “The biggest killer on the planet is stress and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis.” ― Willie Nelson

86. “You know you’re a stoner when your friends make you a Bob Marley cake. You know you smoke way too much f–king weed!” ― Miley Cyrus

87. “You can stump any stoner with one question: What were we just talking about?” ― Jim Breuer

88. “Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he’s not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.” ― Bill O’Reilly

89. “Dude, this is a stoner conversation and we’re not even high.” ― Libba Bray

90. “I’m a smoker, my name is Snoop Dogg, and I’m a stoner.” ― Snoop Dogg

91. “I love stoner comedies. I smoked weed in college, but I haven’t smoked in years.” ― Natalie Portman

92. “Stoners are cute; junkies are sad.” ― Kevin Smith

93. “With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer.” ― Jimmy Fallon

What kind of stoner are you?

People have been smoking weed for centuries, but now that it’s legal, a lot more people are getting their hands on some grass.

So, what kind of stoner does that make you?

Are you a noob?

Someone who just started smoking and is new to learning the ins and outs of the pot world?

Or are you a Rastafarian?

To you, weed is life.

Life is weed.

The philosopher needs to know the deeper meaning of things and uses cannabis to discover that meaning.

The McGuyver can turn anything into a pipe.

And the marijuana connoisseur knows everything there is to know about pot.

No matter what kind of stoner you are, we hope you enjoyed these stoner quotes and sayings.

Let us know your favorite quote in the comments below!

October 28, 2022 5:00 AM EST