Apple has ordered staff to return to the office for three full days a week in an effort to finally reduce the “remote work” of the COVID era in an effort to increase productivity.
Matthew Field for The Telegraph:
The tech giant told Silicon Valley area employees that they should come in on Tuesdays and Thursdays and one more day each week, starting September 5.
The company began trying to launch a so-called “hybrid” business model in June last year, but was plagued with delays. At the time of the policy’s launch, staff said they were “ignored” and the policy was pushing people to resign.
“Without the inclusivity that flexibility brings, many of us feel we have to choose between a combination of our families, our well-being and the power to do our best work, or be part of Apple,” the employees wrote.
Tim Cook, Apple’s chief executive, emailed staff this week to inform them of the change.
“Teams participating in the pilot will come to the office three days a week with Tuesdays and Thursdays being the designated days throughout the company, but now the third day you join will be decided by your teams,” he said.
Mr. Cook said the move “will improve our ability to work flexibly while preserving the in-person collaboration that is so essential to our culture.”
MacDailyNews takes: Apple employee tanning, home improvement projects, and TV binge-watching are all expected to be successful, but hey, it’s still only three days a week and Apple is spun-less squish-driven – Tim Cook, Deidre O ‘Brien, etc. – who have historically been shown to bow to the first glimpse of “indignation” from a handful of lazy discontents at actually having to do some work, so hope remains for endless paid vacations!
This is the perfect situation for Apple to eliminate the problem of “B” and “C” players that the company has become encrusted with in recent years. We can think of a former Apple CEO who would use this golden opportunity to invite these aspiring slackers to “go to work in the sand”. – MacDailyNews, May 17, 2022
The fact is that the amount of “work” that will be done in the two stupidly remaining remote days will be practically nil. Therefore, Apple corporate employees have an implied three-day work week. Expect to do less than in the pre-COVID panic days – it’s pretty much guaranteed (pun intended) – until the job market eases and companies can start again requiring employees to dedicate an entire work week.
As we wrote in April:
Pulley. Can the shit.
The only people who complain about having to go to the office to really work for three total the days are, to use scientific language: lazy assholes.
So, Apple’s management should collectively grow a couple and promptly extend a farewell friendliness to would-be “Apple Together” slackers – don’t let the door hit your ass on your way out.
As we wrote over a year ago (!):
Employees who don’t want to go back to work in person should beat the sand of their own accord or via pink briefs …
The return to offices in early September is already ridiculously late.
There are literally millions of skilled, talented and motivated people who would gladly work five – gasp! – whole days a week in the office for Apple.
Get back to work or get lost.
Successful companies like Apple don’t rely on slackers who have already enjoyed a much longer vacation longer than a year and are now ruined.
If these employees don’t wake up and wake up quickly, let them go, Apple. Swing the ax, don’t pamper them.
• I don’t adopt softness towards others because I want to make them better. – Steve Jobs
• Some people are not used to an environment where excellence is expected. – Steve Jobs
• The “A” players attract the “A” players. The “B” players attract the “C” players. – Steve Jobs
See also:
• Elon Musk makes fun of Apple for yet another delay in returning to work – May 19, 2022
• Apple plans to delay the return of office workers three days a week – May 17, 2022
• Some Apple employees get nervous as the three-day return to office looms – April 29, 2022
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[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Fred Mertz” for the heads up.]