My partner got so much support when he came out – so why am I still a secret?

DEAR DEIDRE: EVERYONE has been supportive since my partner came out to his friends and family last year – so why doesn’t he tell them about me?

I’m his boyfriend. He is 25, I am 24 and we have been together for nine months.

Part of me wonders if I should demand that he tell them

We met at the gym when we started working out with each other and he asked me out for a drink.

We have a great relationship – he makes me laugh and is really supportive.

Contact Deidre

Every issue gets a personal response, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.

But I’m tired of being kept a secret. When I’ve asked him about it, he always says “it’s not the right time”.

Part of me wonders if I should insist that he tell them, or are we done.

DEIDRE SAYS: An ultimatum can sometimes work in your favor by making the other person realize what they really want.

But it can also be risky if you’re not ready to follow through.

Also, there’s a chance your boyfriend will start resenting you for forcing him to do something when he’s not quite ready.

Try a gentler approach. Ask your friend what is holding him back and explain how you feel about his secrecy.

My Standing Up For Yourself Support Pack will help.

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