How To Say No To Friends – 3 Guidelines – Radical FIRE

As for me, I’ve learned how to say no to my friends over the years. At university I learned this lesson. I would just go out to eat with whoever, whenever. I went out drinking five out of seven nights a week. I would go on weekend trips, festivals or holidays during the week. It’s hard for me to say no, so that’s something I’ve learned.

(I go into more detail about this in my article: Money and Confidence as a Way to Live Your Best Life)

Once you learn how can i say no to your friends, it will remove major obstacles from your financial path. Your social calendar shouldn’t be this bottomless pit where your money disappears. It should be a fun way to see your friends again and have a good time without feeling guilty afterwards.

At its core, personal finance is all about balance. How you can allocate some of your budget to things you enjoy without going overboard. How can you enjoy a nice gin and tonic every now and then without drinking six and blowing your weekly food budget on a gin and tonic?

Many people think that saying no is awkward. It’s no fun turning down every invitation – because let’s be real, it would make life completely boring.

You also don’t want to tell your spendthrift friend, “When we go out, you’re spending like a Kardashian while I’m trying to be financially independent in 10 years.”

These three simple guidelines will make it a lot easier to say no to your friends when you’re trying to reach your financial goals. It will save you time, save you money, and save you trouble.

How to say no to friends

Rule #1: Let them know ahead of time.

No one likes a person who cancels at the last minute. When you do it once or even twice, there is no one overboard. However, if you do it regularly, you should consider why you always cancel at the last minute. You don’t want to be that friend who is more likely to cancel two hours before the event than show up.

If there is something coming up that you know in advance, let them know as well. You would want your friends to do this when it comes to you, so you should do the same.

Rule #2: Make an alternate plan

Keep in mind that when your friend wants to date, your friend wants to date you. If they figure out where to go, it’s mostly because they want to spend time with you.

If someone suggests taking a weekend trip to Barcelona, ​​it’s also a good idea to stay closer to home and book an Airbnb. If someone suggests going out to eat, it’s okay to stay home and cook.

Personally, I go out to eat once or twice a month. This is enough for me. If some friends want to hang out and go out to eat, I mostly suggest they hang out at home. When the weather is great, you can have a picnic in the park, you can watch a movie, drink some wine, the options are endless. There are so many things you can do as alternatives, it’s amazing.

Rule #3: Frame it

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that half-hearted apologies are not appreciated. It’s nothing to make it difficult for you, you just want to say no.

Be transparent and clear to your friends. If you work for a financial goal, they will respect it. This is something you’ve probably already discussed with them, so why not remind them?

Stay true to yourself. Don’t make up some lie to make them feel good. Be honest. Tell them why you’re not coming, but don’t make it bigger than it is.

If someone wants to go out to eat with you at a fancy restaurant, just tell them “I’m trying to save money this month, so I’d rather stay in and cook ourselves.” Be light and talk about what habits you are trying to adopt.

In short – be honest, stay true to yourself and enjoy the time you spend with your friends. They want to be with you, often it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you spend time together. If you have doubts, express them so that you are on the same page.

It’s not hard to say. Most of the time we don’t want to say no because we’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. What I’ve learned is that feelings are rarely hurt when you’re transparent and honest. I went from saying yes to everything to saying no to a lot of things – and I’m proud of it!

(Transparency – I’m here writing this on a Saturday night because I enjoy writing much more than going to my cousin’s birthday party. No one gets hurt)

Are you good at saying no to friends?

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