HEY BESTIE: My partner just started FIFO work and I’m afraid he’ll cheat on me while he’s away. I asked her to find another job so she can be at home every night, but she won’t do it because she says the money is too good. I’ve been cheated on in the past and I couldn’t do it if it happened again. What should I do?
I’m sorry to hear you have a history of cheating.
Cheating sucks and creates scars in relationships and people that are very difficult to repair.
Once you’ve been cheated on, your mind believes it could happen again in future (or current) relationships. Although your current partner may never have given you reason to believe he would do this to you.
Each relationship is unique and should be treated as a new relationship.
One of the best things to do is not to compare past relationships with current ones. Every relationship should start over – if you’re worried about the past, talk to your new partner about it and find ways you will both work on the relationship to make it as effective as possible for both of you.
Working in a fly-in-fly-out (FIFO) role has been called the “golden handcuff” opportunity.
Like most people who have worked or know others who work in the FIFO arena, yes, the money is good.
The lifestyle isn’t that great, the long hours and days are often hot beyond comprehension. Some people love the lifestyle and others do it as a means to an end.
Research has shown that FIFO workers have a greater risk to their mental well-being that can extend to family members around them as well.
There are known pillars of a good relationship, three of which are trust, commitment and communication.
If you have these in your relationship and are making the most of each other in daily calls and when your partner is on their way home, there shouldn’t be too many worries.
Some conversations worth having with your partner if you’re worried:
- Understanding the reason behind the role and then planning how long your partner intends to stay in the role is also a great conversation to have.
- Let them know your concerns and how you both plan to resolve them.
If in doubt and if you feel that you are not fully able to communicate with your partner, contact a professional.
Make sure your relationship is solid so that when you are physically together you are actively working on the relationship.
After all, supporting each other is important at every stage of the relationship.
Your best friend,
Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with nearly two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no bs” approach to solving your problems. She is also a speech professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business that have sold over 150,000 copies.
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